Windows of Our Soul
by SeekerKey
Summary: Amu lost her will to live. Kukai wanted to make Amu realize what she should do... Amuto, Kukamu, it's up to you...


**Author's Note: I wrote this using my own point of view, and this time, I'm narrating as if I see how the characters act... or in other words, I was hidden somewhere from the characters, I could see them but they couldn't see me.**

**Disclaimer: Do I even have to do this? Just kidding. =) I do not own Shugo Chara or any of its characters.**

It was already late, somewhere around ten pm. I saw Amu sitting on the cold wet grass above a hill and her knees were tied together. She didn't look happy but she didn't look sad either. She had a blank expression plastered all over her face. She was near the top of the hill and it seemed possible that she could reach the stars. After seeing the moon, she smiled sadly. She was smiling, yes, but instead of happiness, her smile was full of pain and sadness.

Amu still has the same golden eyes but this time, it wasn't sparkling. It was dull. There was no life in it. Since our eyes are the windows of our soul, she seemed lifeless. She was breathing, but that was all there was to it. She didn't even budge when the cold breeze brushed against her skin. It was a chilly night but it looked like she didn't feel anything.

Two hours had passed and she didn't go away from that place. She finally showed signs that she felt cold but her eyes were still as piercing as they were, or maybe worse.

Another two hours had passed and she was still there. I was about to enter the scene and hand her a blanket but another person came. He had chocolate brown hair and was quite tall. His eyes showed worry for the girl in front of him. "Hinamori, let's go back." He said in a muffled tone but she shook her head. "No, Kukai! I want to stay here!"

Her voice echoed throughout the hill and it kept on bouncing back. I want to stay here! I want to stay here! I want to stay here!

Kukai sighed in defeat and I noticed the fact that he tried to hide his disappointment that he was unable to convince her. He was about to go but instead, he sat down beside her. "So you're still thinking of him."

"Him?" Amu asked, bewildered by Kukai's statement. It wasn't acting. Amu looked innocent that it was next to impossible that she was telling a lie.

"Tsukiyomi. Tsukiyomi Ikuto." Kukai said as if it was the most obvious thing on earth.

"I'm not thinking of him!" Amu protested.

"Stop lying!" Kukai shouted.

"I am not!" Amu defended.

"Yes you are. You might be the best actress but you would never be able to fool my eyes. I know that you are lying. So stop this entire act." Kukai said seriously and Amu sighed. "So what? I don't need you to tell me to forget him. I won't and I can't!" Amu shouted angrily and her face turned red out of anger.

"Since when did I tell you to forget him?" Kukai asked subtly and Amu looked straight into his eyes.

"Never. You never did." Amu said and it was like she was hit by something. Yaya, Rima, Kairi, Nagihiko and Tadase told her to forget so to her, everyone wanted her to do so. She didn't even realize that Kukai never asked her to forget. How could she have not noticed?

Kukai closed the gap between them. He embraced Amu like a baby that needs to be tenderly cared.

"I never ask for the impossible, Amu." Kukai said and he continued holding her between his arms.

After some time, Amu budged. Her eyes still weren't sparkling, but they weren't dull. Life might have finally started coming back to her. Before, she kept her feelings sealed and all she did was to sneak out every night and go to her special place. (A/n: I used the term sneak because Amu, Rima, Yaya, Tadase, Nagihiko, Kairi and Kukai all live in the same house but separate rooms. This will be explained later.) Every morning, she would pretend that she was okay. She might have been the best actress that ever lived. She could fool anyone with her smiles. She could manage to hide how she feels. To her, it was the second time that someone was able to see through her. She thought that only Ikuto could see through her lies.

"Are you the reincarnation of Ikuto?" Amu seriously asked and before they knew it, their faces were close to each other. "Huh? Why?" Kukai asked since he didn't know where Amu got that idea. Amu noticed that they were so close that their lips were ALMOST touching as they talked. Out of instinct, she moved away and apologized. Kukai burst out laughing.

"I would never kiss you even if you plead, Amu." Kukai teased and Amu blushed out of embarrassment. Kukai smirked and Amu 'hmphed' at him. After a few seconds, the two of them were both laughing. When they couldn't laugh anymore, silence passed through them.

With a sad voice, she said, "Those siblings were fools." and Amu inched closer to Kukai and had him place his hand on her shoulder.

"They really were." Kukai agreed and he had a blank expression on his face.

"Have you finally moved on?" Amu asked.

"No," and after a short pause, he continued with a smile "I accepted." Amu realized what he meant. He still feels the pain of losing Utau, but he realized that the death couldn't come back to life. Unlike her, he was able to accept the truth. She was still clinging to her memories with Ikuto but after seeing how Kukai copes up with the situation, she finally knew what to do. She would learn how to accept. She would live a life again. She would become real again. She wouldn't just inhale and exhale; she would make the best out of life and she knew that's what Ikuto would want her to do.

It was already five in the morning and the sun was beginning to shine. The two decided to come back to their home.

"So, honestly, where did you get that idea?" Kukai asked.

"Idea?" Amu also asked.

"…that I was the reincarnation of Ikuto."

"Oh… That… You saw through me…" Amu softly mumbled.

"I saw… through you…?"

"Yeah, well, you knew I was lying." Amu commented.

"We all knew. All of your friends know." Kukai replied.

"I know they knew… but you… You're different." Amu sternly said.

"So, how am I different?" Kukai pursued.

"Well,"

"Well…?"

"I don't know…"

"You… don't know…" Kukai disappointingly answered back, as he was hoping for a great reason to be different.

"Yes, yes… I don't know! That's what makes you different!"

"I'm getting confused here."

"Well, I am getting confused, too!"

"I got confused first!"

"So? what?"

"Explain properly then."

Amu wasn't lying, she really didn't know. She just knew he was different. Ikuto was also different, but yes, Kukai was entirely different! She knew she wouldn't be able to endure the healing process if Kukai wouldn't stay by her side. She might have her other friends, but if Kukai wouldn't be there for her, she wouldn't be able to face and accept reality.

"I surrender. There's no particular reason behind, okay? It was just something random."

"Come on, Amu. You love lying, don't you? Just tell the truth that you can't tell me. End of story." Kukai explained.

Amu was certain that she would be water to Kukai- transparent. No matter what she does, she'd never be able to hide the real her. She nodded and whispered. "I'm sorry. I don't have the courage to tell you. Maybe someday…" Amu paused. "No… Someday, I will."

Kukai smiled weakly at her. "I know you would… Well then… Let's walk and continue living…"

"Together?"

"Together."

And the both of them smiled genuinely.

**Below is a brief history of the Guardian's House…**

**They were friends since elementary. And up until now, now that they have their own lives to lead, they still remained close friends. That's why they built a house somewhere in the countryside and they decided to live together. Each of them gave an equal share for buying the house and each of them shares in paying the expenses.**

**Oh, and, Amu is a well-known actress in Japan.**

Thank you for reading… It's up to you to judge whether this is Kukamu or Amuto since I love both pairings! I still find it hard to choose between the two! Let me share something. I was able to write this oneshot while trying to write the next chapter for my chaptered-story: Amu is a Two-Timer. It's even disappointing that I am still unable to write the next chapter for the said story… *sob* *sob*

I'm also dedicating this story to someone, well, she doesn't know that I've dedicated this story for her, and she never will… I wish she'd know, but…

Oh, please, don't forget to give a review, okay? I love reviews but I love it more if it's more than a sentence. I also want someone to criticize my work for me, please tell me what I can do to improve! I've always believed that fanfiction is the best training ground for aspiring writers and I simply hope that someone could give me guidance! Thank you! Arigato Gozaimasu!


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